A Cut Above

When going to get your haircut in Korea, you are taking your life into your hands. The pressure is immense, and the risks are not to be underestimated. I have trouble even at home with the etiquette of the haircut. I am horrible at making small talk with barbers and resort to clichés about weather and such. Most of the time I sit there thinking, nay, praying that the haircut is what I want because I dread having to say, "actually, a little shorter on the top." If there isn't a phobia named after this I think there should be.

Imagine me, then, navigating a Korean haircut. Most of them have the same haircut (short on the sides and back, mushroomy on top), but not only that, they also attach great significance on hairstyle. By this I don't mean, if you have a bad haircut, you will be laughed at (you will), but that your haircut defines you in the social hierarchy. In a country where even the locals find it difficult to judge age, these signs are all important. For example, before entering middle school, students have to have a certain haircut. Girls above shoulder length, boys... well reeeeeally short. Failure to adhere to the rules means you get your haircut at school. Girls get the pony tail snip; boys get the tennis racket buzz cut (they put a tennis racket on their heads and then cut whatever hair is sticking out.)


I have escaped unscathed so far, but have only tested my luck twice. Of course, the haircuts haven't been perfect, but I haven't learned the word for tennis racket yet, so maybe next time.


Aesthetiphobically yours,

Joe