Slips of the Tongue

I hear so much bad English that bad English sometimes metamorphoses into good English, and very rarely bad English is so bad that it turns into good bad English, or naughty English. These are the times that I laugh hysterically and my class looks at me like the crazy waygook that cackles on for no reason.*

I will update this as they role in, but two are popping into my head right now.

1) Cue James who has a low understanding of English. He likes the verb "to be" although he always uses the form "is". If he were to tell you his favorite verb is "to be" he would probably say, "James is 'to be'." He would also look at you after saying this with a very proud look on his face like he just discovered plutonium.

Anyways, James can read so he has something going for him. He can read and retain for 5 minutes or so, so I usually have him and his classmates memorize a dialogue and present it to the class. James has partnered with one of the many Kevins. Today's lesson: jobs.

James: Who is that man?
Kevin #24601: He's my father.
James: What does he do?
Kevin #24601: Guess. He grows vegetables everyday.
James: Aha! He's a fruit.
Kevin #24601: Bingo!

I laugh because James has that look on his face like he just discovered the new world. I say, "farmer James, it should be farmer."

2) This one was hilarious the first time I heard it, but now I spearhead the problem because so many kids make the same mistake with this book. I just can't hear the innocent 8 year-olds say it anymore.

The storybook is designed for early phonics reading and has repetitive text throughout the book. Most of the kids can sound out the words if they really try, but usually just resort to looking at the picture to figure out what the words say. The book is called "Where are you going?" and it repeats ad nauseum, "I'm going to the ... where I can ..." About halfway through the book the little storybook girl heads into the barn where she can blow a horn. Unfortunately, there's a horse in the picture, and "horn" and "horse" are phonetically very close, especially
for these little EFLers. I laughed the first few times, but now I just feel dirty.

More to come.

*note: this look is very similar to the normal crazy waygook look except for a slight tilt of the head and an unblinking silence